thisiswhathappenslarry

You’re Killing Your Father, Larry!

Bad night for Detroit sports last night.  Nevermind the fact that the Lions actually had a chance of winning that game if their corners could catch a damn cold let alone a football.  But the Detroit loss stings me more than the usual regular season loss.  I bet it stings them too…I hope it does.

The first 20 minutes of last night, Detroit made Toronto look like a Cup contender.  The final 40 minutes, they made Toronto look like a high school JV program.  And in front of their fathers, no less.  One would think that a game in Toronto, having your fathers fly in from all over the world be motivation to come out flying.  Apparently, it wasn’t.

So let’s forget about that STUPID penalty shot call…don’t sneeze when someone has a breakawy…they’ll get a do-over.  Let’s concentrate more on that limp wristed backhand that Cleary put up the middle of the ice on a penalty kill.  Let’s concentrate on that freak clear attempt that died on the end boards and gave Lupul a late merry Christmas present.  Let’s package all that crap up in one wrinkled plastic bag, write our notes on it in red pen…have the fathers come into the locker room, sit in front of the players, show them the contents and ask…

isthisyourhomeworklarry
Is this your homework, Larry?

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Is that how you want to play in front of your father, Larry?  Is that how you want to play in the first period, Larry?  We know you’re a better team, Larry…and that the penalty shot call was bogus….and we know…that this is your homework, Larry.

Maybe the Toronto rivalry is lost on some of our players.  Only Nick Lidstrom was around when it was even in existence.  Maybe…maybe I can understand that.  Maybe a bunch of Swedes don’t give a crap about playing on Hockey Night in Canada….okay, fine.

But if playing Chicago tonight after what happened last week doesn’t light a fire under someone’s ass, then maybe it’s time for that person to move on.  Maybe that person would make great trade bait to bring in someone like a Rick Nash who would be giving us all he’s got every night just because he’s happy to be on a team like ours.

And I’m not looking at anyone in particular…but by God sir, I will not abide…another loss.  Let me ducktail that statement by adding that I will not abide another loss that could have easily been a win if we had removed our heads from our behinds prior to 20 minutes of play.

We’re not Nazis…we won’t threaten castration…and it’s certainly not about the f**king money.  I want satisfaction tonight.  There are many Detroit sports fans down in the dumps today.  And the Red Wings have an opportunity to pick our spirits back up by kicking our most hated rival right in the teeth.  I wish I could tell them that.  Another loss tonight would be the icing on the cake of a sh*tty weekend in sports…a loss would make almost everything seem alright (die-hard Lions fans excluded).

Let me wake up tomorrow and order the lingenberry pancakes with a smile on my face knowing that all the people I have to talk to here in Chicago are mad about what transpired Sunday night at the United Center.

Do it for me. Do it for your fathers. Do it for Detroit. Do it for Arthur Digby Sellers.

Just do it.  And yes, I replaced the new ‘Vette with that limited edition Blackhawks Camaro they have here in Chicago.

This is what happens, Larry.

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