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Full Metal Abby

Justin Abdelkader has taken boxing lessons, was taught a few moves from Brad May and as a result is now our team’s tough guy. So far he hasn’t given out too many beat downs, but he has thrown a monkey wrench in the gears of the “Red-Wings-Are-Not-Tough Machine.” Yes, such a machine exists. It wears stupid suits and lives in Canada.

More on Abby and his war face after the jump:

Timing can be everything with fighting. The last thing you want to do is give the bad guys a wake up call. Abdelkader has done that a few times now, including yesterday. When the Wings grab momentum by scoring a big goal, don’t fight. Certainly don’t lose. But if you must fight, try your best to look like Abby, because he’s a beast. Try not to look like Bert, because he looks like he’s taking a dump.

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I wasn’t there when Brad May taught Abdelkader how to fight, but based on these pictures, I have a feeling it went something like this:

May: Abby, why did you join my beloved NHL?

Abby: To kill!

May: So you’re a killer?

Abby: Yes, Brad, I am!

May: Then let me see your war face!

Abby: My war face?

May: AAAAAAAAAHHH!! That’s a war face! Now let me see your war face!

Abby: AAAAAAHHHH!

May: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

Abby: RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGG

May: AAAAAAHHHHH!! You don’t scare me. Work on it.

And that concluded his training. The result?

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Abby: Choke yourself!

Lapierre: *Puts own hands on throat*

Abby: With my hand, numbnuts!

Abdelkdaer is still young and still needs to learn a few things other than his war face, but when he does, I think he’ll be awesome. Not Probert-awesome, but he’ll be a fan-favorite. Even more so than now, but he needs a new nickname, so give me your suggestions in the comments. Something based off of Full Metal Jacket or another war movie. Let’s see what you’ve got.

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