I’ve been tossing around the idea of writing a post that talks about acquiring specific players and how we could go about getting them, but I always stop myself. Mostly because at some point, whether we get the guy or not, he’ll do something dumb and one of you will search our archives, find this post and shove it in my face like I’m a puppy that pissed on your rug. Well, lucky for you, I’m feeling especially brave/bored this morning.
Click to reveal the madness:
I think the Wings need a guy who will score 40 goals a year or more. Consistently. Not 8 goals in a span of 5 games, then no goals in 12. I also think we need a forward who will piss off other teams and get them off their game. No one on Detroit pissed in Nashville’s Cheerios and Nashville was able to play the way they wanted to the entire time.
Zach Parise: Jordan has a good post about him just below this one, so I won’t go into too much detail here. I will say that I think he could score 40 consistently, because I think his game would change in Detroit. He’s Kovalchuk’s setup man now, but in Detroit he’d be taking passes from Pav. He’d also be playing for a puck possession team instead of a defensive-minded team, so his Hudler-esque numbers should go up. He plays hard and will get dirty when needed, but he doesn’t solve our lack of physical play. Getting him would probably cost about $7.5 to $8 million per year, but we wouldn’t have to trade another asset to get him since he’s a UFA.
Alex Semin: From a blogger’s perspective, I would enjoy getting to use ‘Semin’ in post titles on a daily basis. It would never get old. Ever. But I said I wanted a consistent 40 goal scorer and he is not. However, if he could be had for Franzen-money, I’d go for it for one year. I would also only want Sem– I would also only want ALEX if he was our second forward signing. If we were to rely on his streaky goal scoring, we would be in trouble, but if he was skating around on the second line, occasionally chipping in hat tricks, that would be cool. Also, he’s right-handed. Admit it, you’d love to see Semin on the Wings next season. (Never gets old.)
Teemu Selanne: Sounds like he’s considering retirement or playing one more year for the Ducks only, but who knows? He’s supposedly BFF’s with Val, so that’s good. Again, he would be cool as a second signing.
Everyone has trades! Trades, trades, trades!
Steve Ott or someone like him: “WTF!?!?!?” Ahem… Steve Ott or someone like him: Yes, you read that right. Steve Ott would help this team with its lack of physical play. “But we play a clean game! We don’t fall into those after-the-whistle traps that other teams do!” And why not? Honestly, what’s the point? Four guys will take turns punching Holmstrom in the back of the head while our guys just sit there watching. Holmstrom just tries to adjust his helmet while shooting back a dirty look and saying “Stop it, for sure!” and the damn ref calls matching minors! Why not punch back? Get our money’s worth. Steve Ott commits a lot of penalties, but he also takes a lot of guys with him. He also draws a lot of penalties. Say what you want about integrity, but teams like Nashville and St Louis are still playing hockey. I think Ott could be acquired for Dan Cleary. Their cap hits are almost the same and so are their numbers. Cleary provides them with leadership. Ott provides us with hits and 4 on 4 hockey.
Jerome Iginla: 40-50 goal scoring power forward who has never won a cup? Yes, please. If Calgary trades him, it would be because they have given up building around him just to finish 9th in the west every year, so they would want prospects or someone young to help build for the future. Since he only has a few years left, Detroit can’t give up too much, either. Four bottles of Jack Daniels, Kindl, Emmerton and next years 1st. The four bottles of Jack because the Calgary GM would have to be SLAMMED to take that deal. More realistically, Franzen and Kindl for Iginla. Final offer.
Corey Effing Perry: He has proven that he can score a ton of goals and he hits guys. He’s also young. He’s also a prick. He’s the kind of guy we love to hate, but our team would be better off with him. From what it sounds like, the Ducks are broke and are trying to shed salary. Because of this, Perry would have to be had for a promising prospect or some really good draft picks that we don’t have. Would you be okay with trading Nyquist for Perry? I think Nyquist could be one of the best players in the NHL, but that’s why this trade would work. He could be. I don’t know. This is one of those trades that I would deal with if it happened, but it would be hard.
Bobby Ryan: I think Bobby Ryan is awesome and not near the douchebag that Perry is. He’s also the type of guy who could really help the team going forward, but since he hasn’t scored 50 in his career like Perry has, I think he could be had for less. Meaning, we get our young power forward, we get to keep Nyquist and the Ducks shed salary. Precious, precious salary. Ryan for Kindl and Tatar. Add draft picks as needed.
Alex Ovechkin: Dale Hunter is a dork, but his handling of Ovechkin could be the greatest thing to happen to Detroit in the history of ever. Ovechkin played about 7 minutes less than Jay Beagle in game 2, even though Ovechkin scored the game winning goal in the third period. After scoring that goal, Ovie didn’t get another second of ice time. While we cheer for the Devils to lose ASAP so that Parise will be super bummed, we need the Caps to go further than they ever have since drafting Ovie. This would make it harder for them to fire the boob that is Dale Hunter and Ovechkin would probably want to GTFO. It would cost us a lot, but I’d be willing to trade Franzen, Filpulla and Hudler for him. An entire line, yes, but as long as we got the right free agents in July, it could work.
Rick Nash: Nash is everything we want other than being left handed. Whatever, it doesn’t matter because we’d never get him. No way he gets traded to a division rival for anything less than half our team. They’d probably want Howard plus the assets I mentioned for Ovie. Forget it.
Jordan Staal: I’d let go of Filpulla and Hudler for him, but Hudler isn’t even under contract, so he’s not exactly an asset. I mentioned him earlier because a trade for Ovie would probably happen in the fall after the Caps made it clear that they were sticking with Hunter. So to get Staal, it might cost the Wings Franzen and a prospect with a lot of potential. Since Pittsburgh sucks at defense, I’m thinking it would be Smith. Would we be willing to part with our only worthwhile defenseman in the system for Staal?
Evgeni Malkin: Via WiiM, sounds like maybe the Pens would trade Malkin instead of Staal. Go ahead and take a moment to imagine Malkin playing with Datsyuk for 20 minutes a night. Cool, huh? Now stop. We don’t have the assets to make that happen.
After free agency and any trades, I think our lines could look like this in October:
Parise-Datsyuk-40+ goal scorer acquired by trading Mule
The way I see it, all of those lines are great in their own way. Ott, Helm and Eaves provide boat loads of energy and power plays/4 on 4 play so that we can get additional offense out of our crazy-awesome top two lines. Miller and Abby stay with the team and provide energy and timely goals while Bert dresses for the occasional shootout. Holmstrom might have to be resigned in order to keep TPH around since riding to games with him is part of Nick’s routine. Our second line would be the only one that concerns me because all three of those guys tend to vanish from time to time. Switch Semin with Selanne and that’s no longer an issue.
Who did I miss? What big-name forward would you want on this team and who would you be willing to trade to get him?
Defensemen coming soon.
Troll me on Twitter. @Twig81