Predictions are a part of every start of season because they mean nothing and do a great job of showing how uninformed the author is about the subject. In my case it’s no different. So without further ado, here are my totally useless predictions that will adhere to no system, be not realised by any of the teams and generally follow a path of whatever makes me laugh at the time of writing it.
Northwest Division: Vancouver. Everyone else is picking ‘em. I do enjoy seeing Sammy do well, he was too funny to hate when he left. Also, I happen to be a huge Ryan Kesler fan when it comes to cheering for people not wearing red sweaters.
Pacific Division: Phoenix Coyotes. I see this team enough to know that they’re pesky and dangerous. Not for Detroit, of course, but for other teams. And with the recent drop offs in Dallas and Anaheim, San Jose losing it’s (regular-season only) superstar goalie, this is finally their year to win one of Gary’s all-expansion divisions.
Central Division: I’m gonna go ahead and go against the grain here and say we win it only because everyone else is so terrible. Did anyone else see Chicago last night? Am I the only one noticing that Colorado had like 13 odd-man rushes whilst short handed? How do you not have that fixed for Game 1 of the regular season…
Western Conference Champion: Detroit Red Wings. All we need to be okay is to reach the playoffs healthy. Our veteran core with the speed and fire of our younger lines puts in a familiar position and we know how to handle that.
Southeast Division: Tampa Bay Yzermen. I gotta have faith in Stevie Y. He was our favourite adopted son and now he’s gone and made something of himself. Good for him. I hope it is not to an effort to be done in vain, so I have to cheer for the Yzermen(I’m trademarking that, by the way).
Atlantic Division: Philadelphia Flyers. This team is good. They’re returning their best players from last year and even though Scott Hartnell looks like the dorks that annihilate me in Halo: Reach I think they still roll good lines and have a good enough special teams to be a contender once again.
Northeast Division: Buffalo Saw-brehs. Because Ryan Miller is as good of a goalie as he is an advocate for MGD and other Miller Brewing products.
(L)Eastern Conference Champion: Buffalo Sabres. Only because I think highly enough of Lindy Ruff to believe he will get back to the Cup…eventually…before he retires.
Stanley Cup Champion: Again, useless information, being that you’re reading a Red Wings blog, but yeah…Detroit in 5.
Season Highlight Prediction: My favourite moment (predicted) is going to be when we sweep Chicago. I know that’s actually like 6 games and not a single moment at all, but at the end of sixth game people will say “Hey…didn’t we sweep Chicago? Is that six wins?” And the only correct answer is, of course, “who gives a $%#@”
Season Lowlight Prediction: I think it’s going to be when Montreal fans politely and properly lynch Carey Price. These fans are something else. Rioting in the streets for making it to the conference final. That’s halfway there. That’s the equivalent of me wanting a family-reunion/huge block party that goes straight through the entire weekend and manages to destroy the downtown Tucson business district for making it through my sophomore year of college. Stipud. Plus, their screaming of obscenities at a fellow team player isn’t anything new for these fans.