Red Wings Predictions

Time for predictions that only have to do with the team in Red and White.  Not the kind of predictions you hear prognosticators make on those stupid sets during intermission reports.  Not what prognosticators probably care about at all.  A more in-depth look at the team, a look in tells us all more about the team than any total wins or points projections will ever do.  Know ahead, dear readers, these are predictions that follow no logic, once again, but travel down that dark, clouded and winding maze full of dead ends that I call my imagination.

First Goal:  Jiri Hudler.  Welcome back to the United States, Happy. Now pop the trunk.

First Hat trick:  Johan Franzen in the first period of the next game against Colorado…and again versus San Jose.

First Fight:  Justin Abdelkader sticking up for a linemate.  Amen.

First Guy to Attempt to Impale an Opponent with his Stick:  Who else?  Todd Bertuzzi.

First Guy to Skate Stomp(TM Chris Simon/Pronger) Someone:  Jonathan Ericsson.  I’m not saying this will happen, but I am saying that if it does, it’s gotta be Jonny.  Because if he has a string of bad games, which I’ve already told Ellen won’t happen, someone’s gonna say the wrong thing to him about it and he’s gonna respond by sending bolts of lightning down and finish it off with a skate stomp to remove the head from the body.

First Goal Called Back:  Mark it down kids, October 8th.  Tonight.  You guessed it, Homer.

First Guy Babcock Sits:  Mike Modano. I just have a feeling he’s at the age where he scores in streaks, it’s been that way for the past few seasons for him.  So a streak of underwhelming is gonna earn him a seat next to Chris Chelios during some of our games.

First Player Traded:  Meech.  Unless Ericsson sucks (he won’t), then it’d be him.

First Injury:  *Going into the bomb shelter to avoid any and all dangers*

First 20 Goal Scorer:  Zata, and Pav joins him later that game.

First 40 Goal Scorer:  The Mule.  I think he’ll get it in chunks against teams that have young goal tenders making a name for themselves.  Teams not familiar with his quick shot are in serious trouble, and goalies that haven’t seen much of him usually fall the hardest.  No human being on Earth knows what the hell Evgeni Nabakov’s excuse is for Game 4, though.

First Record Broken this Year:  The only one that comes to mind is Pavel’s chase for Larry Murphy’s Most 2-goal games by a Red Wing player without netting a hat trick, which Mick is so fond of reminding us about.  But that’s not the one I’m going with here.  I bet it’s Jimmah(!) with the All-Time lowest GAA.  Jimmah(!) Saves.