Red Wings 5 – Sharts 3

This Western United States road trip through California (i.e. Oregon’s Mexico) will be recapped by yours truly in a Live-Blog style recap, wherein I write down my thoughts as the game happens.  I mean, if Tyler of The Triple Deke can do it with older games, why can’t I do with current?  So it’s as live as you’re gonna get without making the trip down to the Mines of Moria to drink beer with me and watch the game at my Keep on FSD.  Should be fun, and a lot of late nights.  Here we go!

First Period:
Okay, back up.  Before the first period, before warm ups, before the goddamn morning skate this game almost gets cancelled?  Power outage?  Look,  I know Detroit gets a lot of grief from the outside media about poverty and other crap, but one of the least likely sources of this ball-busting is California.  Yet one of angriest, most bitter sources of such hate is the California beat writers.  I’ll give them that Detroit is poor(ish), but at least we can afford to front the energy bill at the Joe.  Talk about a bunch of hypocritical d-bags.
Also, I’m not happy about NHLN blacking out my FSD feed to show me Comcast-CA knob-gobblers talk a bunch of jibberish about how great Joe Thorton is (and a total leader and clean player).  Enough ranting, let’s get to the live blog.
4:50 Mark – First PP less than five minutes into the game.  Think I figured out why people say it’s so loud in the Shark Tank.  They don’t silence the music after the puck is dropped.  No matter, Filppula to Zetterberg to Cleary makes it 1-0 on a PP goal right after the faceoff win.
8:01 Mark – “Datsyuk on display there” and “He’s just…pretty darn good.  I don’t know what else to say” is all you need to know about what these Californee dickbags had to say about Pavel’s goal.  2-0 Detroit.
A relatively weak call (surprise!  It’s a San Jose thing!) and the Sharts capitalize on a weird goal.  Now, I know it’s not Kronwall’s fault, he just got turned around, but am I the only one that knows he’s not 100% yet?  He said, during the pre-season, that his knee isn’t fully recovered yet, and it’s showing.  His big hits aren’t there and he isn’t moving his feet as quickly as I know he can.  He’s also not scoring as much as he should, given how many opportunities he has had when he pinches this season.

Second Period:
Logan Coutoure scores me 0.5 points/PIM in Fantasy Hockey, takes 2 for tripping, then Pavel’s patience leads to a beauty by Z from Rafalski subtracts that hard earned point because now his +/- is -1 as they scored RIGHT after they opened the box.  So thanks for nothing, Logan. 3-1 Wings.
Next goal, a San Jose goal is one in which Howard leaves a rebound and the SJ forward bowls him over to bury it.  No one will remember that forwards name because he has never done anything else of any significance but of course, he scores a goal against Detroit; just like all new, young, sh*tty talents.  3-2.
I may hate the commentators of the San Jose games, but at least they are honest about their lack of integrity.  They pull no punches there.  Showing a camera angle of the ref talking to Antero Nittymaki, they say:  “Can you read lips?” “Yeah, ‘I’m a terrible ref.’  No, not really” “No!  He didn’t say that” “No.  But you think Toronto heard me say that?” “No, they aren’t watching this.”  Good job, dickbags.
18:50 Mark – Just when I think Dan(ny) Cleary has cooled off, he has 2 goals in 2 periods, assisted by another Sully-whipping-boy, Nik Kronwall.

Third Period:
6:30 Mark – I recall a post in the not-too-distant past, from Chief at A2Y, about how people from other teams and other media outlets can’t compliment the Wings without putting that pill they have to swallow in some sort of gelatinous coating that protects their taste buds from the bitter taste of saying it so.  Chief’s example was “pound for pound, Datsyuk is the most complete player in the league.”  Yeah, bull%$#@.  He IS the best player in the league.  Hence, the comment “And that’s as close to a dynasty in this era as you’re going to get” is absolutely outrageous to Red Wings fans.  It’s not okay to say sh*t like that.  We are a dynasty.
9:55 Mark – The Hockey Gods let this travesty be known with a Vintage Eurotwins goal scored at even strength.  5-2 Winged Wheel.  Not bad after having the homer Californee-way ‘tators make a special note of the useless statistic of SJ outshooting us 15-4 in the first, when we were up 2-1.
13:00 Mark – Kronwall, apparently an in-game reader of NOHS, puts a hit on Nichols that sets him down.  This time he didn’t put his target to sleep but it was a great Kronwallian hit.  Welcome back, Nik, Jr.  Nichols takes this like a man, by slashing Kronner across the ankles and throwing punches to his face without Kronner agreeing to the fight, taking off his helmet, or even facing him.  Cheers to you, Scott Nichols (is that the dude’s name?  Or is that the nice car dealership on the hill of the town in which I grew up?)
This A-hole’s double minor doesn’t count against the Sharts because the Wings are too unselfish to take any shots.  Pav is trying to setting up Kronner, Kronner tries to set up Franzen, Lidstrom takes a fake shot to pass it to Hudler, and 4:00 minutes are wasted.  San Jose, an explosive scoring team, takes advantage.  With 2 minutes left they pull their goalie, down by two.  For those of you in California, it’s now 5-3 Detroit at this point.
20:00 Mark – After the game is over, Jumbo Joe Thorton elbows a kid in a hometown Sharks sweater who is trying to give him a five-high on his way to the locker room.  The Sharks already have a statement prepared in the event Joe gets suspended for this act.

Wings win.