Red Wings 5 – Anaheim 4

Pavel Valerievich is beyond human. He’s more than just my favourite player and half-brother. He’s not like we mortal folk. He’s what Americans feared most when we faced off with the Reds during the Cold War; a certain level of mutation beyond typical human geneticism that uses a Jedi-like skillset to make sure their surroundings follow them as they do their work. He’s that one shooter that, when goalies are practicing, they say “Yeah, pretty much have everything covered, unless SOME GUY can shoot it through the legs of a screen and over the lower half of the net, no wait, better yet, just under the crossbar. Yeah, see someone try that. Otherwise, I got this.” He’s more than a breakaway/shootout threat, he’s pure entertainment. He is to the Flying Circus what Mr. Dark is to Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes. He’s what Corey Perry would call “That quiet kid you go to pick on at recess on the playground who ends up bloodying your nose and the next thing you know your parents have disowned you and your GM has traded you to Phoenix.” Uggghghghghghhghh.

Long story short, I love that little Snot Rocket machine that was designed by the Russians, faultily of course, and cast aside from the Motherland because he couldn’t spin hay into gold or fire nukes from his fists, and instead ended up scoring and setting up the most beautiful hockey goals I’ve ever seen.

And on that note, let’s do the recap, which I DVR’d from my phone (am I techno-savvy yet?):

Game Begins with Andres Lilja starting at Left Faceoff Circle for Anaheim. Mike Babcock had this to say about seeing him start: “I just think it’s funny that Anaheim has no problem going after my sloppy seconds.” Babbles was then sentenced by Colin Campbell to attend Anger Management class, pick up trash and pay $32 Trillion dollars in fines, but won’t be suspended.

First Period: Mick stands up for Anaheim on the calls, but regardless we make a Power Play count for once (6th in 6 games, actually, but I demand perfection). The first period was entertaining and saw a lot of pressure by all four of Detroit’s lines (yes, even you Hudler/Cleary/Modano) but was all for not in terms of my own happiness as we gave up our fourth goal of the season in the last minute of a period. This one came with an extra special slap in the face as we outshot Anaheim in that period e9 to ꙥ.

Second Period: Lots of goals. And as a Wings fan I don’t like trading goals, especially when we spot a team a 2 goal lead at any point in my life. It takes precious years off my already short lifespan (what, four thousand years?) I won’t say anything about the goals Detroit let in, for obvious reasons, but how’s this for answers? Franzen with an effort goal and Homer with a vintage deflection, even off his backhand looking over his shoulder…Incredible. Highlight of the second period for me was this though: 12:30 mark Ken Daniels says: “Oooh, Kindl runs into his own net.” I immediately barf myself. Kindl, you are the Doug Janik of defense. Oh wait, what? BARF!

Third Period: Detroit was very competitive in the third, and aside from the post-clanker in by Lilja and the Selanne goal, I thought their defense in front of Jimmy was good. Jimmy was, once again, all sorts of right. I can’t put those goals on him as much as I can pin them on, say, our defensively inferior 3rd line, or Doug Apparently-there’s-such-thing-as-being-not-a-Lover-OR-a-Fighter Janik, or Yakub Kindl, whose name triggers gag reflexes, I’ve learned. Want to know if your friend or roommate is gay? Have him say the name Jakub Kindl and watch his facial expression. Should resemble a dry heave. Otherwise..

After tying it on a Zetterberg goal from a totally insane deflection, the Wings carry much of the play in the third. It isn’t until Datsyuk dangles his former teammate and pylon (hence, most valuable practice partner for his dekes)Andres Lilja in the waning moments that I feel secure enough to get Happy Drunk and write a post summing up my thoughts. That shot was seriously amazing. 11.4 Seconds left and Detroit takes a 5-4 lead to the end for the win.

Post Game: Apparently Teemu Selanne, one of the few Ducks for whom I have a bit of respect, didn’t like skating into Kronwall and catching his 4’6” Swedish Might right in the kisser. He had this to say, via Yahoo! Sports:

“That guy is dangerous out there,” Selanne said. “One of these days somebody’s going to get him, for sure. I know that. It’s just a matter of time when. For sure his elbow hit in my face. I didn’t see the replay but I know how it felt.”

He clearly remembers nothing about that hit, which makes it that much better. It was clean. But, because I’m fair, I’ll link the video of Selanne’s comments here, which are worth watching.

Great weekend of sports, though. Red Wings win and so does the Alma Mater. 6-1 ain’t bad for this team. Hopefully the Rose Bowl is still within reach.