Tonight has the making of a game that, this year at least, has made me want to throw a puppy. I hate this type of game more than Adam West hates baseball cards. It has all the makings of a game where the Wings should be able to pick up two points, but haven’t, thus making me a little closer to going all Jack Nicholson on little Danny out in the countryside.
What are those signs that make me cower in fear?
1.) It is a Tuesday. I’ve done a study and 100% of the time the Wings have played on Tuesday, they’ve lost. Did you know that Tuesday’s were created by a collaboration between Al Gore and the Devil? Maybe not, but I bet you suspected that.
2.) It is on Versus. The Wings haven’t won on Versus since Chris Chelios was a Pee-Wee. F’ Gary Bettman…ass.
3.) The Blues suck. Really, they do. And the Wings never win against teams they should beat. I would link to where I actually did look up the statistics, finding that the Wings had a ridiculously terrible record against teams in the shitter, but I don’t want to start a self-link masturbation party like the worst blog on the internet regularly does. I also don’t try to figure out who the Lady Bing winner is multiple times during the season, but then again, maybe I would if I didn’t have friends, was a greasy fatass, and was dumber than Kanye West and unable to comprehend even simple arguments. And the still Blues suck.
4.) The Wings managed to lose THREE players last game. That is a new g-damn record. What’s next…four????
5.) The Wings need the points more than ever. Which means NOTHING to them apparently.
Our only hope than lies on the Mule. Not that I expect him to score or really be anything out of the ordinary. The season started going down the toliet when he was injured. Maybe his return is the end of our voo-doo curse and we will be back to watching the Wings as we know em.
What a google images find. If you did this, please let me know. Amazing.