Eaves to Kenny: “Where’s my $100 Million Contract?”

In case you missed it, 7 goals put up by the Detroit Red Wings on yet another self-proclaimed “rival.” Feels good to flip the STFU switch every now and again, make sure it still works. My favourite part of this win? Patrick Eaves, an under-appreciated, team-player-oriented, defensive specialist and great penalty killer of a hockey player, signed to a one-year, $750,000 deal in July of this year. 

Why is this my favourite part of the game? Because Patrick Eaves broke the tie he shared with Ilya Kovalchuk for goals this season. Patrick Eaves is also playing ice hockey for, at the moment, $99,250,000.00 less than the Ruski superstar. I’m not making that up. Fiction couldn’t make that up. Douglas Adams himself couldn’t write something sillier.

Eaves also beats out Kovalchuk for “Greatest Shootout Fail. EVER.” Compare the two below…



Also, Happy on the board for back-to-back 2-point games. Good on ya, Happy, especially since they were two road games against quality opponents.

Now enjoy them Curly Fries, people.